Hair Happens

After a month, this is what I have. My scalp is now hidden under a salt and pepper covering. Drying my hair takes less than a minute which is still astonishing to me!

And now from the side.

Thanks to Lauren for taking a few shots while she was home on her January break.

Another Passing Grade

Today was my one-month follow up with Dr. Mary Ann, my radiation oncologist for those of you keeping score at home. The radiation area was nuts today. People everywhere! Dr. Mary Ann was scurrying around, as was Nurse Nancy. They had concerned looks on their faces as they came in and out of Exam Room 1. Then I saw Nurse Nancy pull netting out of the supply closet, and I knew what was going on. Some poor woman, like me, had open sores and needed help.

I went into my appointment a full hour late. Unheard of at this hospital! The appointment began with lots of apologies and then we moved onto me. I listed where I was in my recovery, sensitivity in the "affected" breast, tightening of my right arm, side effects of the aromosin, and the amazing hair growth!

Dr. Mary Ann immediately noticed that I had not yet had a full breast exam and she dove right in. [Not fun, by the way.] Then she checked my entire lymph system, heart and lungs. All clear once again! Then Dr. Mary Ann explained that I am not getting rid of her. She needs to see me every six months for the next two years; before we move to annual appointments. And then she made the most brilliant observation: spread out the follow up appointments. Why see all three doctors in June when we can do one in June, one in late August and one in October? Clearly this is the smart thing to do. As Dr. Mary Ann explained, the next two years are the most critical. Statistically, if this crap is going to come back, that is when it will. Scheduling the exams with my team at even increments is logical. And so that is what I am doing.

Another passing grade.

Has it Been That Long?

Blogs don't lie, right? So, I must not have been writing here.

This means that I am moving forward [mostly.] I am still waiting for my nails to grow in/fall off and for my burns to heal 100%, well and of course, to have hair that is measurable again, but otherwise yea, I am basically moving forward.

Time is now filled with writing databases, proposals to write databases, household chores, reading the morning papers, researching houses and areas in France, and of course, cooking. The database work on the horizon is shrinking, but you never know what might show up. One client has decided that hold-ups on her end mean that she needs to delay her installation until April. Another client had their IT person up and leave with no notice, so no one knows what their server capabilities are, so another delay. This means that time is freed up for other projects.

Then last week the phone rang and it was a nice guy named Fred. I had met with Fred last April. Then I met with him again with three level of bosses and made a proposal. And then a few phone calls, a few emails and then silence. Needless to say, I didn't push. I was getting infused with chemo by then. Well, now the project is funded [big time!!!!] and they want to move quickly. Quickly by my definition is 'start next week,' but at this large institution, they mean bill half the project before July 1, and half after. Bottom line is, I meet with five levels of the hierarchy next week and then we get started.

So you never know what will happen, or when. I have been very lucky that not only are my current clients patient and loyal, but then just when I need some extra time, one client or another will change their timeline.

Tuesday the kid returns once again. This is the January break between her J-term and Spring Term. She has really worked hard during J-term and it sounds as though she could use the break. I will try to do a few fun things with her while she is home, but mostly she will sleep.

I am still active with my online support group which I find very helpful. I am starting to have some of the Aromasin side effects, and it is comforting to compare with others who are taking the same drugs. But here we are, months later, planning our trip and still post-treatment!

Dr. MaryJane Speaks

Thursday was my first post-treatment meeting with Dr. MaryJane. The meeting was surprisingly short; only 12 minutes from start to finish. How do I know this? Because I looked at the clock when we started and when we finished. That is the only reason. It felt like 45 minutes. It was packed. Only a few days later, the details aren't clear to me anymore, but the substance is.

Dr. MaryJane was warm, compassionate and very attached. We talked a lot about how I am doing, how I managed the treatment. As we spoke I came to realize that treatment was okay until the GI stuff happened. A month spent in pain, unsure if eating would make me sick or not, took the wind out of my sails. Add that to third degree burns, and yea, I lost my spark. Dr. MaryJane looked at me and said "We have done everything to you. Your body has been through so much. It is the hardest thing you have ever had to go through." [Aside: This isn't actually the hardest thing I have lived through, but it is the hardest thing that my body has been through.]

Dr. MaryJane then inspected my incisions and proclaimed herself pleased with both her work and my healing. The radiation bound up my arm/node area again, and so we discussed new massages that I can do in the shower and with lotion.

We finished our meeting with some additional chit-chat. And then we were done. She told me to make an appointment in June for my first post-diagnosis mammogram coupled with an appointment with her so we can review the mammogram together. We were done. Dr. MaryJane then came towards me, gave me a hug, a kiss on the cheek, and walked out the door. _GASP_ _Wow_ Where did that come from? I sat down in the chair and sobbed. Again, these people, these people who care for hundreds of sick people each year, many of whom are much sicker than I am, care. They care deeply.

I stopped by the front desk to schedule my mammogram and appointment. "Nope, no preference as to the date," I stated. So she clicked away on the computer. "Oh," I said. "I don't want to have this mammogram on the anniversary of my diagnosis." The young woman looked sympathetic while asking what date that would be. "June 13th," I replied. Guess what date she was signing me up for? We moved it to the 20th.

This is the end of treatment. The only two strings left are a follow up with the radiation oncologist at the end of January to check my burns and the outstanding genetic test. That is it! This is end of treatment.

Looking for Excitement

After facing one's mortality, people do crazy and wild things. They jump from airplanes with parachutes, they jump off of bridges attached to a bungie cord, they get really fast cars and push them to the limits, and they run off with new partners half their age. Though I am still sorting how I _feel_ about the last seven months, I do not wish to do anything like this. But, I do need a little excitement, something new, and as usual, it is all about the kitchen.

Today, with a totally empty pantry and refrigerator, I watched foodtv for inspiration. Now sometimes this works, sometimes it truly doesn't. But today, the food gods were with me. I saw not one, but two, recipes that seemed worth making. This is good.

[aside]
We are back to our regular schedule starting tomorrow. Leslie returns to teaching which means I am on my own from Monday mid-day through Tuesday night. So during his absence, I have to feed myself [which turns into a bowl of cereal way too often] and have dinner ready for him Tuesday when he returns. The weeks that Leslie leaves and there is absolutely nothing in the fridge are really bad.
[end aside]

So back to our food adventures. Our first course was a roasted tomato and basil soup. Okay, I had the soup, Leslie was inspired by grilling a few shrimp. The main course was a salad with a lime-ginger dressing. Recipe is below. The 'celebrity chef', Bobby Flay, is a total jerk and this is the first time that I have ever actually tried one of his recipes. And, you know it was good!

I didn't follow his directions exactly. We got a rib-eye steak instead of the tenderloin. I didn't marinate it, or season it in any way. [Okay, I just forgot but it didn't matter.] I also substituted some baby greens for the 3 cups mizuna leaves. The Prospect Street Whole Foods doesn't have mizuna leaves. In fact, on a Sunday afternoon, the baby greens are hard to find. And finally, the portions are way off..... 2 steaks for 4 people with salad? Forget that! One steak will do four entrees in my house; so about 2 ounces per person. Other changes: I washed a lot of lettuce, but didn't dress it so that I can eat the remaining greens over the next few days. I hate soggy greens. So, I circled each plate with halved tomatoes, lay down some sliced beef and drizzled it with the dressing. Finally, we each placed greens on the plate, added dressing as desired [Leslie like more than I do] and tossed on the plate.

Grilled Spicy Filet Mignon Salad with Ginger-Lime Dressing

3 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
1 tablespoon chili paste with garlic
1 tablespoon peanut oil
2 (12-ounce) filet mignons
Freshly ground pepper

Whisk soy sauce, lime juice, chile paste, and peanut oil together in a small baking dish. Add the steaks, turn to coat, cover, and let marinate for 30 minutes in the refrigerator. Remove from the refrigerator 15 minutes before grilling.

Heat grill to high. Remove steaks from marinade and pat dry. Season both sides with pepper and grill for 3 minutes per side or until slightly charred and cooked to medium-rare doneness.

Remove from the grill, let rest 5 minutes, and slice into 1/4-inch thick slices.

Salad:
1 head Bibb lettuce, torn into bite-size pieces
3 cups mizuna leaves, torn into bite-size pieces
1/4 cup chiffonade Thai basil or regular basil, optional
1/2 English cucumber, halved and cut crosswise into 1/4-inch thick slices
2 carrots, julienned
5 radishes, thinly sliced
8 each yellow and red cherry tomatoes, halved
Ginger Lime Dressing, recipe follows
Salt and ground black pepper

While steak is resting, combine all salad ingredients in a large bowl. Toss with half of the dressing and season with salt and pepper. Transfer to a platter, top with the steak, and drizzle the remaining dressing over the top.

Ginger-Lime Dressing:
1/4 cup fresh lime juice
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon rice vinegar
1 tablespoon finely diced shallot
1 tablespoon finely grated fresh ginger
2 teaspoons sugar
2 tablespoons peanut oil
Salt and freshly ground pepper

Whisk ingredients together in a small bowl. Season with salt and pepper, to taste. Let sit 10 minutes before using.

Happy New Year

Here is to everyone having a healthy, prosperous and joyful year, during this the year 2006.

Last night we had a late, after-gig supper of eggs benedict with some wine before lighting a fire and watching a movie together. At midnight, we could hear all the fireworks being set off around Boston and the surrounding cities. It was a quiet and family-oriented evening; the perfect end to this difficult year.

Tonight we gather at our friend G.'s house, an annual tradition. She makes the traditional New Orleans New Year day feast which includes greens and beans for luck and money. Of course, last year I ate this same meal and I don't feel that luck or money found me in 2005. On the other hand, as G. says, "Imagine how much worse it could have been if you didn't eat this meal!"

Happy New Year!