Cycle 5
Yea, I know. I haven't been good about updating this blog. I don't actually think anyone is reading it though, so at least no one is disappointed in me.
The thing about chemo for life is chemo for life. As with anything, a routine develops. This is what I do on Tuesdays. I go to the hospital. They draw blood. Every fourth week I see the doctor. And then, I sit in a chair and they pump stuff in to me. Some weeks everything is running late. Other weeks everything runs like clockwork.
The other parts of my life have had highs and lows. All of my clients have now transitioned to other developers. They are each happy with the choice that they made. I am still available to assist if needed, but I am no longer a professional developer. I am no longer a professional anything.
This transition has been emotionally hard. In fact, for a bit I tried to cling to that me but I have changed. The Taxol makes me a little anxious, an anxiety that is triggered by clients needing something, guests being irritating, and any deadline, self-imposed or not. It is time to stop. I have made the right decision. And yet, I still didn't send out those final bills. And didn't send them out. And was anxious about not having sent them out. Today, they went. Final Invoice. Done.
My doctor is smartly concerned about the toxicity of Taxol and the effects it is having on my body. She was not interested in continuing this drug if it weren't working, so last week I was rolled into a tube for a PET scan. Cool new machine! Still have to fast for 8 hours before the scan, and they still fill me with radioactive waste an hour before the tube, but the time in the tube is now only 12 minutes! Twelve minutes. My first PET lasted 45 endlessly-long minutes.
Dr. C called me that same day with the results. Improvement. Most of the tumors were stable, but the ones that can make real trouble with my spine are all reduced. This set up the beginning of Cycle #5. Did that yesterday.
So how to fill all the hours in my week? Of course, there are the AirBNB turnovers, making of breakfast items, and chatting with the guests. Two days a week are Olivia time. But that still a fair amount of time to fill.
I have been sewing. So far, four rompers and a dress for Olivia, and one almost done dress for me. I have very few bits of clothing that I can wear and have the port accessed, so I am making one. This is not rocket science, and my mind will probably go to mush, but at least I have something filling my time that improves our lives.
The thing about chemo for life is chemo for life. As with anything, a routine develops. This is what I do on Tuesdays. I go to the hospital. They draw blood. Every fourth week I see the doctor. And then, I sit in a chair and they pump stuff in to me. Some weeks everything is running late. Other weeks everything runs like clockwork.
The other parts of my life have had highs and lows. All of my clients have now transitioned to other developers. They are each happy with the choice that they made. I am still available to assist if needed, but I am no longer a professional developer. I am no longer a professional anything.
This transition has been emotionally hard. In fact, for a bit I tried to cling to that me but I have changed. The Taxol makes me a little anxious, an anxiety that is triggered by clients needing something, guests being irritating, and any deadline, self-imposed or not. It is time to stop. I have made the right decision. And yet, I still didn't send out those final bills. And didn't send them out. And was anxious about not having sent them out. Today, they went. Final Invoice. Done.
My doctor is smartly concerned about the toxicity of Taxol and the effects it is having on my body. She was not interested in continuing this drug if it weren't working, so last week I was rolled into a tube for a PET scan. Cool new machine! Still have to fast for 8 hours before the scan, and they still fill me with radioactive waste an hour before the tube, but the time in the tube is now only 12 minutes! Twelve minutes. My first PET lasted 45 endlessly-long minutes.
Dr. C called me that same day with the results. Improvement. Most of the tumors were stable, but the ones that can make real trouble with my spine are all reduced. This set up the beginning of Cycle #5. Did that yesterday.
So how to fill all the hours in my week? Of course, there are the AirBNB turnovers, making of breakfast items, and chatting with the guests. Two days a week are Olivia time. But that still a fair amount of time to fill.
I have been sewing. So far, four rompers and a dress for Olivia, and one almost done dress for me. I have very few bits of clothing that I can wear and have the port accessed, so I am making one. This is not rocket science, and my mind will probably go to mush, but at least I have something filling my time that improves our lives.
posted by *susan* at
7:17 PM
2 Comments:
I am still reading, I was diagnosed in March this year, please keep writing..
By
Unknown, at 2:51 AM
Susan, I found your blog. I have been off BCOrg for a long time, but popped in on the What's for Dinner page, and realized you hadn't posted and I like to never remembered the numbers after your name. I mow know you have undergone a lot of shit in the past couple of years. But your grand daughter is sure a cutie. I checked out a book from the Library about the Food of the Islamic World and it had lamb, and preserved lemons, and it made me think of you and Nance and Special K and Lacey and I just want you to know I am sending you the best of prayers and wishes with all these changes in your life. Redheaded1.
By
Anonymous, at 1:11 AM
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