Plan B

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

So VERY Sad

Dr Roger, my oncologist and friend, died on January 19, 2012. The inside of my bones feel cold. He so deserved to have a retirement with his wife. At 68, his life was cut far too short. His leave of absence has been hard for me to deal with; his death seems too cruel to absorb.

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Roger Frederick Lange, one of Boston's pre-eminent hematologists and oncologists, died January 19, 2012 from complications of multiple myeloma. He was known for his keen intellect, expansive knowledge, excellent judgment, and outstanding personal care of his patients, and over his career became one of the most sought after cancer clinicians in Boston.

Dr. Lange served as a faculty member of the Harvard Medical School for 37 years, and was a source of inspiration and a role model, devoting as much care and energy to training young physicians as he did to taking care of his patients.
Born in 1943 in Chicago, Roger was a graduate of Chicago's South Shore High School class of 1961 where he excelled in baseball and basketball. He graduated from Harvard College, summa cum laude, in 1961, and from the Harvard Medical School, cum laude, in 1969.

Dr. Lange was selected to join the Residency program in Internal Medicine at Beth Israel Hospital, and thereafter served at the National Institutes of Health under Dr. Raphael Shulman. In 1973, Roger was a post-doctoral hematology/oncology fellow at Washington University in St. Louis, and in 1974, he assumed the role of Chief Resident in Medicine at the Beth Israel Hospital.

Roger has been a member of the hospital staffs of both the Beth Israel and the Mount Auburn Hospitals since the mid-1970s. He became Chief of the Division of Hematology-Oncology at the Mount Auburn Hospital, and remained on the staff of both medical centers until the time of his death. His reputation as a "go-to clinician" and "doctor's doctor" was quickly established, as was his role as a medical educator. He was named as one of "Boston's Best Doctors" by Boston Magazine at least five times during his career, including in 2011. His patients treasured the time they spent with him because he treated each of them with respect and genuinely enjoyed their company. No matter how difficult the news he had to deliver, Roger always managed to have patients feel better leaving the office than they did entering it.

The only part of Roger's life that was more important to him than his role as a physician and teacher was his family. He instilled in them his values, his enthusiasm for life's pleasures, and his sense of humor. Despite his busy schedule, he never missed his children's recitals, school plays, or sporting events, or Lois's chamber music events and performances. He and Lois made bicycling trips to several continents and every part of the U.S., sometimes biking one hundred miles a day. He made us all understand the importance of getting things exactly right – whether it was through driving around town for hours looking for the right size, shape, brand or color for whatever it was he was fixing, or solving any other problem, big or small.
Roger was blessed with many friends from each stage of his life.

He lived with joy, compassion, and the highest regard for others, and was widely admired for his honesty, loyalty, moustache, and especially for his sense of humor. Roger's approach to life was embodied in the advice he gave to the nearly one thousand cancer patients and family members attending the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center's annual "Celebration of Life" event. Urging them to continue to live life to the fullest, out came "Just remember, cancer, shmancer, as long as you've got your health!"

He is survived by his childhood sweetheart and wife of more than forty-four years, Lois (Platt) Lange, son David M. Lange, daughter Nancy Lange Vaidya, daughter-in-law Bernadette Lee, son-in-law Anand Vaidya and his two beloved granddaughters, Maia Vivienne Lange (15 months) and Usha Ranjani Vaidya (3 weeks). He is also survived by his brother, Paul Lange, of Rehoboth, Delaware.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Betwixt and Between

My doctor called at 6:30 pm the Friday before Christmas. My PET scan showed no mets. No nothing. I am still cancer-free.

This is clearly good news. But, it is really unsettling emotionally. I feel like I am rebooting here, and still trying to determine where I fit in.

Here is what I know. I had mets. We treated these with a really low-impact treatment; a treatment that I continue every 28 days. I have now been cancer-free for at least 9 months, and probably longer. I started all of this with the assumption that with my low tumor load and low stage I could get two years from my original progression. Two good years, and then things would decline. This PET scan demonstrates that those assumptions are simply wrong.

So, how do I live? How do I decide what comes next in my future? Do I pretend that my monthly visit for a double-cheeked butt shot are just management or do I remember that they are possibly life extending? Do I live like I am dying? Or do I live until I am dying?

I am trying to get my head around this stuff. For anyone who isn't in my mind-space this must seem wildly trite. But it isn't....