A Sisterly Visit
Though you wouldn't know it from this blog, I have two sisters, both younger. Margaret, the LA, just had surgery sister, is 4 years younger than I am. The other sister, Sarah, is only 18 months younger. We have never been close.
Sarah thinks that the homeless should be locked away where they won't bother her, she thinks Social Security is fiscal foolishness, she believes that anyone who is being left behind by society simply isn't trying hard enough... she calls herself a libertarian, but in reality she is a fiscal conservative with a pragmatic edge.
I am a knee-jerk liberal.
There are many topics we simply can't discuss, but in spite of our tremendous differences, over the past 10 years we have worked hard to create an adult relationship that is based on shared values and wine.
Sarah did very well. So well that at the age of 40 she retired to a ski town in Maine with her then-husband. Though she probably doesn't need to work, she has held the position of Planning & Zoning Commission Assistant or some such title for the past year. She loves her job, she loves her life, but since her sister is sick, she came South to visit.
Sarah doesn't like to know details. She doesn't want to know when I am not feeling well. In fact, one night she called and said "You must be feeling good about" And I lost it. Sorry, nope.... that isn't how I feel. The compromise is that I will only call her on good days. She doesn't want to be part of the inner circle of my support system. Instead, she wants to be in the cheerleading section.
And so I harnessed up for her visit, so she would see only the best, and we had a very nice visit.
For dinner we headed to a hip and cool Indian Restaurant which does great curry and tandoori. It turns out the Sarah's man doesn't like curry and since she does, this was a wonderful choice. There isn't much Indian food in Maine. Heck, there isn't much ethnic food of any type in Maine unless you count Stouffer's French Bread Pizza [which I most certainly don't.]
She ordered chicken curry, I had the rack of lamb tandoori, and Leslie opted for the shrimp tandoori. Fabulous!
Once home, Sarah and I sat in the garden drinking wine. We had to move up to the covered porch when thunderstorms came rolling through. And so there we sat, a top the first hill off the coast, watching the lightning flash over the Mystic River, rain pouring down in buckets cleaning the air while we talked about everything and nothing.
In the end, I drank too much wine, but didn't manage to keep up with her. We fell asleep around midnight as the cool air began to fill the house. After two cups of coffee this morning, Leslie took her to the subway, so she could begin her long way home by bus.
It was very good of her to travel all this way, and it really was an enjoyable visit.
Sarah thinks that the homeless should be locked away where they won't bother her, she thinks Social Security is fiscal foolishness, she believes that anyone who is being left behind by society simply isn't trying hard enough... she calls herself a libertarian, but in reality she is a fiscal conservative with a pragmatic edge.
I am a knee-jerk liberal.
There are many topics we simply can't discuss, but in spite of our tremendous differences, over the past 10 years we have worked hard to create an adult relationship that is based on shared values and wine.
Sarah did very well. So well that at the age of 40 she retired to a ski town in Maine with her then-husband. Though she probably doesn't need to work, she has held the position of Planning & Zoning Commission Assistant or some such title for the past year. She loves her job, she loves her life, but since her sister is sick, she came South to visit.
Sarah doesn't like to know details. She doesn't want to know when I am not feeling well. In fact, one night she called and said "You must be feeling good about
And so I harnessed up for her visit, so she would see only the best, and we had a very nice visit.
For dinner we headed to a hip and cool Indian Restaurant which does great curry and tandoori. It turns out the Sarah's man doesn't like curry and since she does, this was a wonderful choice. There isn't much Indian food in Maine. Heck, there isn't much ethnic food of any type in Maine unless you count Stouffer's French Bread Pizza [which I most certainly don't.]
She ordered chicken curry, I had the rack of lamb tandoori, and Leslie opted for the shrimp tandoori. Fabulous!
Once home, Sarah and I sat in the garden drinking wine. We had to move up to the covered porch when thunderstorms came rolling through. And so there we sat, a top the first hill off the coast, watching the lightning flash over the Mystic River, rain pouring down in buckets cleaning the air while we talked about everything and nothing.
In the end, I drank too much wine, but didn't manage to keep up with her. We fell asleep around midnight as the cool air began to fill the house. After two cups of coffee this morning, Leslie took her to the subway, so she could begin her long way home by bus.
It was very good of her to travel all this way, and it really was an enjoyable visit.
posted by *susan* at
10:33 AM
2 Comments:
Something that happens, I notice...we cut our family members a lot of slack where we disagree. No way I could have a political conversation with ANY of my siblings or sibling-in-laws. Love 'em anyway. Funny, huh? Glad you had a good visit, within your sister's limits that you are generous enough to respect.
By
The Green Cedar, at 5:17 PM
Your generous soul shines through once again - I truly admire the way that you have been able to set aside your sister's differences not only politically (I'm "the liberal" in the sea of conservatives that is my family, so I certainly relate to that) but especially in the way she wishes to relate to your diagnosis and treatment information. You are a wise woman, and I hope that the peace you gave your sister is reflected back at you.
By
Kristina, at 11:20 PM
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