Violin
I am a violinist. Being a musician is at the core of who I am.
For sixteen years, starting at age 22, my sole source of income was performing, primarily as a member of a chamber music ensemble. This changed when Lauren started kindergarten, a move that required her to wake up in the same bed every morning. There were some other factors, but as the executive director of a music school for the following 10 years, I was able to continue playing professionally. Technically, music schools are supposed to actually value performance. [Reality was a little less pretty though!]
As I built a database company into a viable income stream, I continued playing, but with the demise of my string quartet, it became playing for money more than for love. The database work was clearly more important for our economic health.
While I was in active treatment, when I had energy, it went to serving the database clients. One, they needed me the best, they paid the best, and I could work when I felt capable, not when a conductor calls a rehearsal.
But that is about to change. A regional orchestra called today and they need a last minute sub. Tonight, the violin comes out. I wonder what it will feel like? My nails have almost finished their growing out, and I shouldn't catch edges under the strings. Tonight scales, tomorrow Tannhauser. [Any violinists who read this know how funny that is!]
It is time.
For sixteen years, starting at age 22, my sole source of income was performing, primarily as a member of a chamber music ensemble. This changed when Lauren started kindergarten, a move that required her to wake up in the same bed every morning. There were some other factors, but as the executive director of a music school for the following 10 years, I was able to continue playing professionally. Technically, music schools are supposed to actually value performance. [Reality was a little less pretty though!]
As I built a database company into a viable income stream, I continued playing, but with the demise of my string quartet, it became playing for money more than for love. The database work was clearly more important for our economic health.
While I was in active treatment, when I had energy, it went to serving the database clients. One, they needed me the best, they paid the best, and I could work when I felt capable, not when a conductor calls a rehearsal.
But that is about to change. A regional orchestra called today and they need a last minute sub. Tonight, the violin comes out. I wonder what it will feel like? My nails have almost finished their growing out, and I shouldn't catch edges under the strings. Tonight scales, tomorrow Tannhauser. [Any violinists who read this know how funny that is!]
It is time.
posted by *susan* at
8:34 PM
4 Comments:
So lovely to read. I remember having chemo brain and being unable to read, which made me unrecognizable to myself. Not the same thing, but a way to grasp that you are going to return to being more yourself. That is way, way, WAY cool!
Love & whatever those exercises are,
gr
By
The Green Cedar, at 11:32 PM
Joy, joy, joy, joy! Oh, this is fabulous. I know how important it is to you, and I've wished this for you. I know that when you didn't want to pick up your violin during treatment that it was a sign of how low you felt, and I like this new sign much better. I've got a little Hallelujah Chorus running through my head for you right now.
Love,
K
By
Kristina, at 12:28 PM
Susan,
It was great to see you today. We will have FUN FUN FUN at the gig...especially during the hang time between rehearsals.
BTW, sorry about the fingerings in the Tann. part, they are mine and just came out in the xerox, hope they are not too distracting.
Beth W.
By
Anonymous, at 11:22 PM
Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site. Keep working. Thank you.
»
By
Anonymous, at 7:29 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home