DONE DONE DONE
The last radiation is behind me now. It was a boost so 3 machine angles, 4 magnifications, four doses, and when we were done, they kept my ID card. No reason for this blue card anymore.
As I got off of the table, Jason, my favorite therapist who had been reassigned during my treatments, arrived. As I was putting on my second robe, he gave me a large hug. Then Nicole and Carol joined in. We all gave a hoot and then Jason threw confetti over my head and told me to never return!
I should be elated, ecstatic, so why did I start crying in the dressing room? I am angry that I had to do this. I am overwhelmed that three therapists, who treat hundreds of people in any given year, opened their hearts and let me in. That so many nurses seem to genuinely care about me and how I am.
Emotions are a nutty thing, eh? I am indeed thrilled to be done with treatment, in awe of the caretakers who got me here, angry that for some random reason I have [or had] breast cancer, pissed that seven months was taken from me and that I will always have doubts about the future. I think that I am simply worn out. I have given this fight every ounce of energy I could muster. As Dr. Roger said, "Now I need to get my life back, and go about the business of living it."
The trick will be to find the map. But while I search for the map, I don't have to make a daily trip to the hospital, 'cause I am DONE, DONE, DONE!!!!!!
As I got off of the table, Jason, my favorite therapist who had been reassigned during my treatments, arrived. As I was putting on my second robe, he gave me a large hug. Then Nicole and Carol joined in. We all gave a hoot and then Jason threw confetti over my head and told me to never return!
I should be elated, ecstatic, so why did I start crying in the dressing room? I am angry that I had to do this. I am overwhelmed that three therapists, who treat hundreds of people in any given year, opened their hearts and let me in. That so many nurses seem to genuinely care about me and how I am.
Emotions are a nutty thing, eh? I am indeed thrilled to be done with treatment, in awe of the caretakers who got me here, angry that for some random reason I have [or had] breast cancer, pissed that seven months was taken from me and that I will always have doubts about the future. I think that I am simply worn out. I have given this fight every ounce of energy I could muster. As Dr. Roger said, "Now I need to get my life back, and go about the business of living it."
The trick will be to find the map. But while I search for the map, I don't have to make a daily trip to the hospital, 'cause I am DONE, DONE, DONE!!!!!!
posted by *susan* at
1:41 PM
4 Comments:
She's done! She's done! Confetti was a great idea -- and I have problem whatsoever understanding why those nurses and therapists, who treat hundreds of people, took you into their hearts.
Don't forget, sweetie, that you don't have to find the map back to your life all by yourself. You have loving support around you and some pretty damn fine girlfriends who're on the same road.
Love & a very healthy New Year,
gr
By
The Green Cedar, at 11:56 PM
That's NO problem whatsoever understanding... Proofreading is a good thing, I understand...
By
The Green Cedar, at 11:56 PM
DONE! Hurrahhhhhhh! I was talking about you with Ryan today, and we were both saying how glad we were that you were done with this part of treatment.
What is it that makes ending treatment so bittersweet, I wonder? Tears, it seems, are not to be unexpected. Gretchen's right, we all seek our maps with lots of assistance...and if any one of us finds the secret, the other two are obliged to share.
With love,
K
By
Kristina, at 12:06 AM
YAYYYYY!!!!! Woohoo! Happy New Year!
By
Anonymous, at 10:49 AM
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