Hair
I have spent way too much time thinking about hair lately. I have lots and lots of hair. My husband likes to joke that I lose more hair per day than he has on his entire head. [As an aside, I think he is exaggerating!]
The oddest part of all of this is that I have never really liked my hair. It is very curly when it is humid, sort of wavy when it is dry, I never know what it might want to do, and I certainly have no control of how it looks. I have kept it long way past the appropriate age.
The trouble with having 14" of really thick hair is that you actually do have to wash it, and then get it dry. As I ponder being sick, I have started to feel that the hair is just too much work. When I need help showering, my poor husband is going to have to deal with something that takes me 20 minutes to clean and condition.
Then I get practical. I put up with having a really hot head in the summer because then I have long hair in the winter when it isn't so much trouble. But, this winter, I am going to be bald, so why am I dealing with this mane in the summer?
I am starting to think that my long and somewhat erratic hair is a way of stating who I am. I might be middle-aged, but I haven't lost my zest for life. Or something.
I have a hair appointment on Thursday. I am giving Kim carte-blanche to give me a 'summer' cut. I think Kim has been secretly dreaming of this moment for the 10 years she has been cutting my hair. But, not for these reasons. And so she can color, she can cut, she can razor and have a good time. And, if I hate it, it simply won't matter.
Maybe I should get a mini-cooper to make my youthful statement! At least I would know what that would look like everyday!
The oddest part of all of this is that I have never really liked my hair. It is very curly when it is humid, sort of wavy when it is dry, I never know what it might want to do, and I certainly have no control of how it looks. I have kept it long way past the appropriate age.
The trouble with having 14" of really thick hair is that you actually do have to wash it, and then get it dry. As I ponder being sick, I have started to feel that the hair is just too much work. When I need help showering, my poor husband is going to have to deal with something that takes me 20 minutes to clean and condition.
Then I get practical. I put up with having a really hot head in the summer because then I have long hair in the winter when it isn't so much trouble. But, this winter, I am going to be bald, so why am I dealing with this mane in the summer?
I am starting to think that my long and somewhat erratic hair is a way of stating who I am. I might be middle-aged, but I haven't lost my zest for life. Or something.
I have a hair appointment on Thursday. I am giving Kim carte-blanche to give me a 'summer' cut. I think Kim has been secretly dreaming of this moment for the 10 years she has been cutting my hair. But, not for these reasons. And so she can color, she can cut, she can razor and have a good time. And, if I hate it, it simply won't matter.
Maybe I should get a mini-cooper to make my youthful statement! At least I would know what that would look like everyday!
posted by *susan* at
10:38 AM
5 Comments:
{{{Susan}}}
I want to see before and after pics!
You know that I cut my long curls off last year on an impulse ... and in a down moment.
Know what? It felt GREAT both during and after. I felt literally and emotionally lighter when I walked away. Bonus is that people still comment on how good I look with short hair. That's always a pick me up feeling.
Oh, I did have them save my hair for me. I keep it in a little box of memories of who I used to be. Someday I may pull it out when I'm old and grey and drop into a salon and say, 'Can you match this colour?'
I know that you are going to get through all of this with your usual finesse and I'll be rooting for you every step of the way.
Love ya!
By
Anonymous, at 2:15 PM
As a breast cancer survivor you have brought back many memories to me. THE WAITING was pure Hell. But like you once the lump has a name, Cancer, you can deal with it.
I had a bilateral mastectomy on 6/30/05 and came home the next day, with drains. My sister flew in from Ohio to be with me. Two days after the surgery I attended a picnic next door. 12 days after the cancer surgery I had a mole removed on my face and the path report came back superficial melanoma. I needed a second surgery to get clean margins.
Now for the hair issue. I had natural curly hair and hated it, just like you. After my first chemo I was waking up feeling my hair. Enough of it. I went to the hairdresser and told her to BUZZ IT. I took control of my hair not the cancer. I had a tough time getting through to her that I wanted it as close to the head as possible. Finally she got it and I walked out holding my head high.
The next week my hair came out in clumps but they were tiny clumps that I could deal with. Yep it came back....Curly. I don't complain because after loosing the hair I said I would never complain again. I had fun with the bald look. No Bed Hair, No bad hair days. Take a shower towel off and you are done. I did get a wig but it was too hot and itchy. I think I wore it about 5 mins. total. Baseball hat was fine for me.
If I can help you or answer any questions, don't hesitate to ask. Your Tues. night partner will give you my name and some pictures. Just keep a positive attitude. That is the best weapon against cancer.
By
Anonymous, at 8:19 PM
OK My mastectomy was 6/30/00. FIVE YEARS AGO.
By
Anonymous, at 8:21 PM
Pat and Chris,
Thank you so much for your notes. The support that I am receiving from friends, both new and old, is making this seem doable.
I will be in touch.
By
*susan*, at 12:09 AM
Susan, there is one thing to remember on this journey. Cancer is a word not a sentence.
Keep a positive attitude and have fun.
I was in Walmart and there was a little boy sitting in the cart before me in the check-out line. He looked at me and said, "You don't have any hair." His mother wanted to find a hole and crawl into it. I told him that Yes, I didn't have hair. I told him that I had some really bad germs in my and the doctors had to give me some really strong medicine, but that strong medicine sometime hurt some good cells. I asked him what good cells were hurt and he said Your hair. I told him he was right and that when I don't have to take the medicine anymore my hair will grow back just like before. Mom gave me a thankyou smile.
Several times I heard, Thank you sir. In my sexiest female voice I said It was my pleasure.
Cancer gives you a new appreciation for the little things in life. Never take anything for granted.
By
Anonymous, at 2:11 PM
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